‘He’s right behind me isn’t he,’ I asked.
‘Actually he’s right in front of you,’ she said.
‘What were?’ I asked looking around and checking behind me just in case.
‘He’s the cat,’ she said.
The cat who had been stalking up and down the coffee table, arched its back and hissed at her.
‘Sorry Dad,’ she said, ‘but he would have found out eventually.’
‘Don’t tell me he’s a shape shifter,’ I groaned.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said to the cat, ‘I shouldn’t have talked about you behind your back but you shouldn’t have been eavesdropping.’
The cat yowled at me and stalked out of the room. A minute later a tall ginger haired man stalked into the room.
‘You should be more careful with your words young man,’ he said, ‘especially if you want to keep seeing my daughter.
I once owned a poodle named Dudeles
Whose fur looked a lot like noodles
He cost lots of money
His fur looked like honey
But he hated my poor labradoodles
One night she just couldn’t sleep
She had even tried counting sheep
But they all ran away
And ate all of her hay
Making her break down and weep
There was a skinny old baker
Whose wife wouldn’t eat what he made her
He gave up in despair
Tried to pull out his hair
Then got a new idea and ate her
In the creek flowing out of the Hill
Lives a pixie that calls herself Jill
She has sharp little claws
Pointy teeth, deadly jaws
And makes the best bottles of swill
There once was a cow from Dover
Who would only eat four leaved clover
She suffers terrible stress
And her horns were a mess
The moon she would never jump over
There once was a boy named Matt
Who was wearing a floppy old hat
It was awfully smelly
And a bird he’d named Nelly
Had made a fine nest where she sat